Thursday, February 5, 2015

Celebrate with Crap


Does anyone ever want a stuffed bear holding a heart? Does anyone ever want a Santa mug? I’m guessing for a vast majority of us, it’s a resounding “No.” Most of us don’t need more stuff that will just sit around accumulating dust—especially seasonal junk. Yet holidays in particular seem to be overwhelmed with junk you can get your friends, family and significant other. [Pause.] It’s depressing.

This is the type of “gift” that people open, take a deep breath in to give themselves a moment to think and then say in a falsely happy voice, “Oh! You shouldn’t have!” And think to themselves, “Seriously. You shouldn’t have. What am I going to do with this?” [Pause.] “It’s going to Goodwill.”

Ideally, the purpose of giving a gift is to give something that the other person will like, not just giving a gift for the sake of giving a gift. But I suppose people often give obligatory gifts, and that’s where these crappy presents come into play. It’s the most selfish of gifts to give because you’re not thinking of the other person at all. You’re not taking into consideration their likes and interests, you’re just picking the easy thing that’s right in front of you at the department store or supermarket or convenience store. It’s lazy. And wasteful if the present isn’t used.

No one is really excited about giving or getting a one of these mass-produced and utterly unnecessary items as presents. So don’t waste your money on crap that will go unappreciated because it’s not worth being appreciated. It’s supposed to be the thought that counts…although you wouldn’t know it from all the crap out there.


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