Thursday, November 22, 2012

Christmas Trumps Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, but don’t you think you ought be getting ready for Christmas? Although Thanksgiving is one of the major holidays in the U.S., it’s nothing in comparison to the mammoth that is Christmas. Because an entire month of Christmas shopping just isn’t enough—apparently you ought to be chomping at the bit to be shopping for Christmas presents…today.

Black Friday used to start around 6 a.m. Friday, and then it got pushed back to 4 a.m., and then it got pushed back to midnight. And now, there’s no more Friday to push back on—so why not start on Thursday at 8 p.m.? Because how long does it take to eat Thanksgiving dinner? A few hours, and then what? Spend more time with family and friends? Try to cram another slice of pumpkin pie into your already bloated stomach? Go to sleep early because your family has exhausted you? Why do any of these things when you can shop?

Sure, you’re stuffed and sleepy, but perhaps after a power nap you can awake and find your way to stores to spend, spend, spend. Because why wait for tomorrow when you can shop today? And in your swollen and sluggish state you’re sure to be surrounded by shoppers in equally terrific moods, and while lethargic from the food coma you’re all in, that will in no way impact the wonderful purchasing decisions you’re all sure to make.

Can you sense how ridiculous I think shifting Black Friday to Thursday is? It’s bad enough that Black Friday exists; does it really need to infringe upon Thursday? I say no, it doesn’t. Once Thursday ends, the following three days is a hellish shopping nightmare—let Thursday remain to be the calm before the storm. Let Thursday just be Thanksgiving. [Pause.] Or perhaps it’s just easier to give Thursday up and let it transform into Black Thursday and just move Thanksgiving to Wednesday. That would solve everything…until they started pushing Black Thursday onto Black Wednesday.

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